Love Note 1:  I’m taking a quick break from Mystery Theater Thursday today, but I do have a highly important mystery update.  Remember the Case of the Spotted Dog?  SOLVED.  Bindi has Demodex mites.  Don’t ask…just nod your head and run far, far away.

Love Note 2:  I’m having a Valentine’s Day giveaway, y’all!  If you want to put your name in the hat, click here to sign up and see what I’m giving away!

Remember the anticipation of exchanging Valentine’s Day cards when you were in grade school?  I specifically remember my mother taking me to K-Mart so that I could toil over boxes and boxes of cards, trying to decide on just the right set to express my love, fondness, or bête-noir (Lulu likes to use French words that she doesn’t understand) to the other kids in my classroom.

I was very methodical about the entire process, and before I even began scribbling names on the envelopes, I would analyze each card individually so that I was sure to assign it to the right person.  God knows there could be no mixed signals involved when it came to card assignment.  Otherwise Toad-Boy might start making unwanted advances on the playground.

Anyhow, in my now infamous attic (that I will henceforth refer to as Limbo of the Lost—and Found), I came across a packet (made from paper plates) full of valentines that I received from my fourth grade classmates.

Um, that was 29 years ago, y’all.  These valentines are officially old.  Vintage.  Antique.  And so is Lulu.  And now, I would like to share with you my notes of love and adoration.

1.  This is one of my favorites.  Notice that the boy who gave this to me underlined the words “I like you.”  Obviously, Brant thought that he could win my heart with a valentine depicting an evil detective choking a puppy until he pukes.  Bastard.

2.  This is another one of my favorites.  Trey really knew how to express his overabundant, exuberant love for me.  He was a player, that one.

3.  This one’s kind of sexy, no?  Meeee-owzer…

4.  Totally un-PC.  The little blond girl is not even of Native American descent.

5.  Aren’t high-waisted jeans coming back in style?

6.  Good use of a pun.  However, if this card was made in the South, it would have read, “Everybody Likes You- n’ Coca-Cola I!”  Not such a good use of a pun. 

7.  Is the Tin Man wearing Adidas?

8.  I’m not too sure if “You Take The Cake” was meant as a compliment.

9.  Mmm…I wish that my hair was made of McDonald’s french fries.

10.  Slick.  Too bad it was from a girl.

11.  Is that a Christmas pie?  And why is the boy dressed in a sailor uniform?  And why is he pulling a purple plum from what looks to be a cherry or raspberry pie?  This valentine is lame.  Wait a minute…isn’t that a nursery rhyme?  I’m so confused.

12.  I’m puzzled by the message here, “I’ve GROWN to like you lots, Valentine!”  Does this mean that I was a detestable social deviant in the beginning, but now I am likable?

13.  From one fourth grader to another—for a sweet little girl?  It’s true, I was the shortest, most underdeveloped kid in the entire fourth grade, but did Tall Tisha really have to rub it in?  Beyotch.

Now wasn’t that just the grandest trip down memory lane?  No?  Yeah, not so much for me either.  I think there’s still some unrequited fourth grade love going on in my mind.

Anyhow, hope you all have a great V-Day!  And don’t forget to sign up for my giveaway, my little love bunnies!  I think I just said love bunnies.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants