I’m assuming that I’m the last one in the blogging world to chime in on the Oscars, but that’s just me. Lulu is a little slow in thought and short on cohesive sentences. But there is something that I must get off my chest, and I know that you are not going to like it. But I have to say it. And, I’ll just say it in tiny, tiny words so that the internets will not infect my blog with voodoo viruses or random comments of hate and ill dispute.
Pay close attention, people, because I’m only saying this once.
Lulu…no…likey…the…Clooney.
GASP! There. I said it, in tiny, tiny words in hopes that maybe you didn’t hear me. Don’t ask me to repeat it.
Now, don’t get me wrong—I understand the fact that Clooney is one of the most devastatingly, freakishly handsomest (handsome?) men on the planets Earth and Mars (deep breaths, Lulu, deep breaths). In fact, he’s so good-looking that my retinas burn when I look at him. Much like his would burn in Hell from looking at Lulu.
Anyhow, I know he’s all BMOC and an Oscar winner/nominee, but my God, doesn’t it seem like he’s had his own special primo, aisle seat at the Oscar’s for the past couple of years now? I’m betting that he traded someone a week in his Italian villa for his seats. And I’m also betting that next year he’ll be sitting next to Jack Nicholson—wearing matching sunglasses. Because his eyes burn. And it’s all just a bit too much for me to take.
And just so you know, the Oscars are not the only awards that have been wantonly given out recently. Lulu has won a couple of fancy-pants awards herself, as well as a contest! But do I have an exclusive seat at the Kodak Theater next to Jack Nicholson? Nooooo. Nevertheless, the show must go on.
First of all, MP at My Second Journal gave me a You Make My Day Award. Thanks, MP! I’m sure that you won’t be thinking that thought in 30 days when you’re sitting on the beaches of Aruba drinking fruity drinks and feeding the wild goats. Whatev.
My good blogging pal, Kailani at An Island Life, bestowed upon me this little gem of loveliness:
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I love her blog too, and I promise that it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s a flight attendant and she lives in Hawaii and I’m insanely jealous of her life. Nothing at all.
Leandra, my-friend-with-whom-I-shall-one-day-share-a-Corona at Madame Queen, gave me the Cool Cat Award for being…a cool cat…
You hear that, Nicholson? You should be requesting a seat next to me next year. Screw you with your sunglasses, bloodshot eyes, and genius smarmy comebacks. I’m the cool one now.
And finally, I have to tell you that I won something that is almost as good as an Oscar. But not quite as gold…or bald. Thanks to Susan at One Woman Show, I won $25 in her blogging MadLib, which is something that I totally haven’t done since the 5th grade! Work a MadLib, that is. And I’m willing to bet that somewhere in my attic, I can find an old copy of one. Thank you, Susan!
And I think that I’ve found one thing that I’m going to waste your money on purchase:
I totally need to brush up on my street slang. It’s ridonkulous, and that’s fo’ shizzle. Holla!
Alright stop! Collaborate and listen!
Oh.My.God, that picture of Cloomey, and your caption? Hysterical!!
Christie’s last blog post..Hello Pot, Meet Kettle
I ran over here as fast as I could. I KNEW something was seriously wrong. I sensed a GREAT disturbance in my Clooney radar, and what do I find?…..GASP! I just….I….GASP! I…I….I can’t even look at you. You better rush to your attic, find those MadLibs, and make with the funny, pronto.
Tootsie’s last blog post..Brief Oscar Timeline
Did anyone else notice GC is starting to look… old? It occurred to me when I saw some of the oscar photos, and my heart broke, just a little. Because if HE’s getting old, then I’M getting old.
Also–I bought that urban slang dict. It’s too funny! I sent it as a gift to my uncle, who’s a prison guard. He loves it!
Fo’ shiggity.
Mrs.W’s last blog post..Sickos
speaking of mad libs. my kids have my old mad libs on their bookshelf – they found them one day rummaging through my stuff – they were impressed that they were all filled out – the ones I did while on vacation with my cousins in like 9th grade – funny – i love the idea of george clooney – I am not a follower of anyone in hollywood unless they are on perez hiltons radar — but I am aware of him in a good way — he is fun to listen too — because he is naturally funny — he epitomizes hollywood glamour — he is classy — he works –you don’t hear about prostitutes and he doesn’t dress like he is still 20 – doesn’t travel with an entourage –he has power in his industry – he makes good intelligent movies not the predictable romantic comedy crap–I find some CEO’s of large corporations harder to stomach than George Clooney.
bettybetty’s last blog post..Snow—Oi!
BWAHA! That’s too funny! My husband actually asked me last night if I went all agoogoo over Clooney when they interviewed him on a show. While he is nice to look at, he’s NOT ALL THAT. The same with Jack Nicholson. Some group claimed him to be a sex god too and I just don’t get it. Now I’ve never found him attractive AT ALL.
Were you drinking when you wrote that? OMG…you kill me.
First off I will not be thinking of you while I’m in Aruba, you are SO correct. I would be if you babysat Jack..or if you were sitting NEXT to me..but no stay there in Georgia and be jealous.
J and I just watched Michael Clayton Friday night.. WOW..the Clooney is awesome..Syriana…The Ocean’s movies. How can you not just want to slip your hands under his shirt and rub his body…omg I need to go…
mp’s last blog post..Pumpkin Post up
To rip-off Sally Field:
“We like you! We really, really like you!”
Yea, what is it with George Clooney? I’ll be dreaming about him for days now.
Sophie’s last blog post..It’s Friday, and Yes, We Have a Winner
LOL! Believe me, spend one day in my shoes and you’ll be happy you’re not me!
kailani’s last blog post..The One With The Spoiled Brat
GASP! You don’t like George?! Are you feeling okay? Oh well, free country and all that. Can I tell you a secret? I don’t like Brad Pitt. **Shhhhhh****
Madame Queen’s last blog post..I Was Right, I Was Riiight!
Oh, and Anderson Cooper is totally gay! So there!
Madame Queen’s last blog post..I Was Right, I Was Riiight!
Christie – ice, ice, baby!
Tootsie – please forgive. I’ll be combing the attics this weekend.
Mrs. W – word.
Betty – you are so correct about all of those things, but there’s just something about him that I can’t get past.
CorporateBeach – Jack Nicholson gets under my crawl.
MP – I have been clean and sober for 10 days now.
Sophie – I think that it would be impure of you to be thinking of GC while you are riding the Teacups at Disney. Fo’ shizzle.
MQ – why must everyone keep reminding me about my dear Anderson?
I know what you mean. I like him, but he’s a little too smooth for my taste. Also, i think he looks like an old man.
I could totally be his cocktail waitress… mmm
badkelly’s last blog post..Memememememememeeeeee
And to THINK, I just finally got around to adding you to my blogroll. I’m going to have to go to my committee and see if a Clooney-hater can remain. :0)
AMomTwoBoys’s last blog post..Bro’s Before Ho’s
I’m not Clooney’s biggest fan either. I mean sure he’s good looking but I don’t know he just doesn’t do it for me the same way say Orlando Bloom does. MMmmmm Orlando Bloom.
George has never done it for me either. It seems that once I’d seen him in his days on Facts of Life… well… try as I might… I just couldn’t get into him. His mouth didn’t fit his teeth or something.. and jack… well, I love him in movies, but I’m pretty sure that he got that Witches of Eastwick part because he sizzled and fried anyone else who auditioned as he is really the devil! anyone else have an easy time believing that about Jackie boy?
Annie’s last blog post..The Japanese ROCK!
Okay, so I SWEAR on my adoration of George Clooney that I REALLY did add you to my blogroll and I DID NOT remove you when I found out you’re a Clooney-hater (GASP! still). But somehow, you were not there today when I was coming here to visit. So, my apologies. You’ve been re-added, as the committee as decided you will be allowed to stay. Amen.
AMomTwoBoys’s last blog post..The Richest 1% Are Really F*cking Smart