Do you know how I have this mild obsession with collecting salt and pepper shakers?  And angels?  And fourth-grade valentines?  And refrigerator magnets? 

No?  Well, um, I believe that my 19-year old son, Gus, has inherited the same evil, obsessive collector-type gene.  Of course, it could also be the impulsive-shopper gene, or the pack-rat gene, or the gene that is completely immune to Cipramil.  Nonetheless, he is inherently cursed.

Case in point—this is Gus’s closet.  And Gus.  Holding Bindi-Boodles.

He has 63 t-shirts.  I counted.  Twice.  He could clothe a small nation.  He has so many shirts, in fact, that his closet is on the serious brink of failure and misfortune…much like the U.S. economy.  One more Hurley, and the closet is going to hell in a hand basket…much like the U.S. economy.

After flipping through the mass quantity of shirts, I’m not even sure that I’ve seen him wearing some of them…although most of them have that lived-in look and feel.  But most likely it’s because he could feasibly wear a different shirt every day for two FREAKING months. 

It’s obscene, and I’m not sure why I, as a mother, let it come to this.  But I have.  And now I am airing my laundry.  Um, I mean Gus’s laundry—for all to see.  It’s funny how much you can learn about your son by going through his t-shirt collection.

1.  I like this one.  It’s our hometown team and its old skool.

2.  Gus worked at this store for two years while in high school.  You have no idea how much I miss his discount.

3.  Gus currently attends this college…

4.  …but he really wants to attend this college.  (Hello.  Get your grades up, buddy!)

5.  Please someone, tell me what kind of statement this is making.  Is Ben Franklin robbing a bank?  I am so out of touch with the younger generation.

6.  Ben Franklin disguised in a bandana.  The Statue of Liberty with a skull face.  Hmm…are these political undertones?  I got nothin’.

7.  This t-shirt if from Hilton Head.  If memory serves me right, Gus has never been to Hilton Head.  That I know of.

8.  Definitely not sure that I even want to know…

9.  Massive rivalries of which I care know nothing about…

10.  A troll sitting on a tree trunk.  Lord help me.  I have no idea.

11.  Gus was a boat driver counselor at a Boy Scout camp this summer, and I’m pretty sure this t-shirt came from there.

12.  Gus played tennis in high school…

13.  And unless he lead a secret life while in high school, I have no idea why this is in his closet…

I could post more, but this is supposed to be a list of thirteen.  Your eyes would totally start to bleed if I continued…

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