Birds suck. There, y’all, I just came right out and said it. Birds do not like me, and therefore, Lulu does not like them. They are devilish creatures who like to mock me, attack me, steal food from my hands, and take up residence inside my home. Seriously. For the second time in a month, a bird has made its way into my house to fly around, taunt, and horrify me (Angie, this is probably something only you can understand).
I swear that I do not have holes in my attic. I simply think that a gaggle of birds have gotten together to stake out my front door, and when it opens, the suicide mission begins. They’ve gotten lucky twice, but no more, I say. We have an official police officer by day/bird catcher by night as our neighbor, and he comes heavily armed with a fishing net and Miller Draft.
Here’s Buford T. Justice searching for the perpetrator in the kitchen…
GR and Buford T. search the dining room…
Buford T. tries to trap the perp in the bedroom…
The perp starts swarming the room…
Finally, he’s cuffed! Thank you, Buford T. You are my hero, but please feel free to use your gun next time.
Let me just say one more time…birds suck. As I was leaving Phoo and Big H’s house this morning after a night of cocktails and smores (more on that later…I can barely bring myself to make mention of the word cocktail right now), I was nearly attacked by a bird on her front porch. I swear. It’s like the gaggle conspiracy.
Big H says that she’s buying me the The Birds Barbie for Christmas…
Like I need a freaking reminder.
Birds are freaks.
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Which came first: your hatred of birds or their hatred of you? Doesn’t matter: you and the birds are engaged in an abusive relationship with a cycle of escalating violence. And it’s amusing me no end.
Your relationship with birds is like my relationship with goats.
Hate-hate.
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OMFG! You should probably just sell your house and move far, far away RIGHT NOW! NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!! Why are you still there!?!??!?!?!
I think I had a little heart attack and/or fainted when you said you had ANOTHER bird in your house…
angie’s last blog post..Healthy as a Horse!
I so am Lulu – I so am! I don’t get why birds single you out, but I know they do!!! You poor thing, birds are scary!!!
I hate birds too. They’re disgusting flying reptiles that want to kill me, too. It all started when I was attacked at a funeral by a swan as a child. Oh, and then a few months ago, I got chased in my work parking lot by an irate Canadian Goose.
P.S. E-mail me when you put up the smores and cocktails post! Can’t wait to see the pics. Man, was I in some pain the next day….sigh…..but what fun!