Anyhow, in the midst of all the craziness, I attended the BlogHer-sponsered GM Ride and Drive event at Atlantic Station in downtown Atlanta on Tuesday evening.  Now, for those of you who know me, you know that Lulu rarely goes beyond the borders of her office and her home during the week.  It takes something really extra special for me to break my own rules and GR’s heart to not go straight home after work.  And a BlogHer event happens to be one of those extra special somethings.  Okay, a BlogHer event and the opportunity to sit in one of these bad boys:

Fits Lulu perfectly, don’t ya think?  I’ll take that as a yes.

I was given the opportunity to test drive that fine-looking Saturn Sky, but honestly, I was just a bit too intimidated by the sexiness of it all.  It reminded me too much of the sexiness that is Maksim Chermkovskiy…

…who would also fit Lulu perfectly, don’t ya think?  But I digress.

Instead, I test drove this…

…the Saturn Vue Hybrid.  Not so overtly sexual, but definitely something I can handle.  Kind of like Colin Firth…

But, again…I digress.  We’re talking cars here, people.  I must focus.

The Saturn Vue is definitely a small SUV that I could get behind.  I don’t know anything much about hybrids, so it was interesting for me to find out that when the car is sitting still, say at a red light, the engine basically turns off!  Very cool.  Lulu is easily impressed.

I also took a gander inside the Saturn Outlook, which is roomy enough to fit 7, yet not so great on the gas mileage in my opinion (17mpg city):

And finally, the Saturn Aura, a nice, practical-looking sedan:

Sadly, my most favorite car of all was not available at the event—the Astra:

While on my recent trip to Germany, that’s what I was tearing down the Autobahn in.  However, in Germany, they call it a GM Opel Astra…but it’s a GM Saturn Astra here in the states!  Very, very awesome car and fun to drive.  I would seriously consider buying one.  Seriously, y’all.

But for now, I must settle for the payment-free, hubcap-missing, granny-mobile that gets me from point A to point B.  And sometimes to point C depending on the day of the week…

Fancy dog bed filled with fluff:  $30

Walk-in emergency vet fee:  $95

X-rays to determine if fancy dog bed fluff is in dog:  $135

A fluff-free dog:  Priceless

Enough of my whining already, let’s talk about something near and dear to my heart—shopping!  And cinnamon rolls. 

On Saturday, I kidnapped my neighbor, Rach, and we made the trek to the other side of the world to IKEA.  And what an interesting and confusing shopping establishment that is, y’all.  It’s like a huge maze of furniture and home décor and wonderful little Swedish whatnots.  And by the time that you make it through the maze and have drooled over just about everything that you think is humanly possible?  You would be wrong. 

Because all roads in that maze lead to the cinnamon roll stand, my peeps.  And because I was just plain crazy and left my camera at home, you’ll just have to trust me that the cinnamon rolls looked something like these hot, gooey delights…

And I would venture to say that the rolls were the highlight of my trip.  Well, that and these…

…which I bought in a fit of low blood sugar and sheer hunger while suffering the smell of cinnamon rolls that wafted through the building the entire two hours that we were shopping.  Is the smell of cinnamon rolls supposed to make for a better shopping experience or something?  Because all that it did for me was make me want to run through IKEA shoving small children and old people aside to get to the freaking cinnamon roll stand.

And I also bought 10 of these little candle holders (for .29 cents each) along with these colorful candles that I will be using at my Halloween extravaganza (2nd note to self: must start planning extravaganza)…

I think that I showed great restraint in not buying anything more. 

And that’s a good thing because on Monday?  I bought these little beauties:

Kind of a mixture of Mary Jane’s and clogs.  And they are oh so comfortable!  Fortunately, they smell nothing like cinnamon rolls.

Besides the fact that I drive a car that an 80-year old grandmother would praise and keep forever garaged except for to drive to church on Sundays, herein lies the issue: 

Do you see what happened there?  Barring the fact that the police department totally Photoshopped the scene I clearly ran the traffic light, you should know the intersection is a total trap. 

The street onto which I was turning is a residential street that many people (me) use as a shortcut to bypass the two-mile line of traffic that one must endure to stay straight on this main road.  So, obviously in order to manage the flow of traffic onto the residential street, the traffic light is set to allow approximately 2.5 cars make a left turn.  The car in the .5 position is the one that gets the violation when they are stuck in the intersection due to the back up of other cars that are already lined up on the residential street.  And it doesn’t help that the entrance to a mega-gas station is also located on the residential street.

If the city would just take care of the traffic flow problems, then this might be a minor issue.  Instead, they install cameras at these types of intersections because they must pay for their fancy-schmancy new Public Safety building and reap the benefits ($70 a pop) of people like me—the coerced traffic light violator.  Hmph. 

See what Bindi thinks about all of this: 

Did anyone see a traffic ticket?  I think the dog ate it…

So, now that I am an official violator of the law, I’m totally making this my new MO:

Click here to view the embedded video.

The following items are respectfully requested…

Swiss Chalet Pet Estate.  “Comprehensive interior design services are also available…with a variety of interior details such as window treatments, moldings, paint colors, furnishings, rugs and flooring including wood, marble or Mexican tile.”  $8,000 

Queen Charlottte Pet Pavilion.  “Inspired by an original made for Queen Charlotte this opulent design has water gilded detail and is available with finely detailed gilded or brass finials.”  $16,990

The Love Seat in Jaguar $185

Pet High Chair $72

Pet Stroller (Special Edition) $199

Mom & Me personalized jewelry collar.  “A playful blend of Swarovski crystals, sterling silver hearts, rhinestone balls and a Swarovski crystal heart charm set in sterling silver.”  $140

Patio Park Potty.  “Patio Park is an adorable dog potty. However, the real beauty is not from the charming picket fence design and mock fire hydrant, but the fact that it uses real grass, turning your terrace into Central Park for your pet.” $199

Cash, checks, and money orders are also gladly accepted to help defer the costs of pee-pee pads, kibble, and soiled carpets.  Forever and ever, Amen.

So, here’s a couple of pictures of the almost finished product.  He still needs to add new sod around the entire patio to make it level with the yard…

At least he sloped it away from the basement doors and used edge-restraint borders as I explained to him, so I can’t complain too much.

And in other news, my mind surrendered to my sleepy, sluggish body at 6:00am Saturday morning, so I did not run the “practice” race that I had intended to run.  I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed and exhausted lately, y’all.  Either that or it was the Shake-n-Bake ice cream that I ate the night before.  And I guess that deserves a little ’splainin. 

You see, GR and I met Phoo and Big H at our usual taco hut on Friday night.  And there’s an item on the menu called El Gigante, which is a burrito about the size of a human head covered in lettuce, sour cream, and tomatoes.  The fool that eats this giant burrito and the ice cream dessert that follows, gets a free t-shirt that says, ‘I am a fool and I ate El Gigante’ or something to that effect. 

Anyhow, GR orders the obnoxious thing and makes a futile, yet worthy, attempt at eating it.  So our waitress (who was impressed with GR’s uncanny ability to enunciate ‘pico de gallo’) overlooked the half-eaten mass as you can see here (excuse the camera phone blurriness)…

…and brought out the ice cream dessert as you can see here…

If you can call it ice cream.  It was more like ice milk rolled around in what Phoo speculated to be Shake-n-Bake.  With a side of what appeared to be ketchup, mayonnaise, and chocolate.  Yum.  So, we all partook, and Phoo was just ecstatic to take this picture of me gorging on the funked-up concoction…

And finally, GR’s prize for his near-defeat of El Gigante…(t-shirts available in XXL or larger only)…

Olé!  ¡Tenga un el lunes feliz mis amigos!

So, our patio, which has yet to be constructed, is the cause of this Great Patio Debate to which I refer.  You see, because I am a dictator planner/coordinator, I like to plan.  I like to coordinate.  I like to butt in.  Hence, I feel compelled to express my opinion about how this patio should be constructed.  And I understand that this is not my project, but I will have to walk on this patio every day for the rest of my life.  Because, as stated before, I will die in this house, people!   

Now, take note, I did not say that I want to express my opinion on how the patio pavers should be arranged or designed, I said how the patio should be constructed.  GR can design it any way that he wants.  I’m just trying to clue him in to the fact that there’s planning and pre-work involved with the excavation and laying of a foundation for a paver patio.  GR is just thinking of the big picture—how it’s going to look when finished.  I’m thinking of the drowning of the dogs when the flood occurs in the basement due to the ground not being sloped enough to carry the flood waters off the patio and away from the basement doors. 

GR thinks that he can just willy-nilly place pavers around the ground without

• using edge-restraint borders to hold the pavers in place.
• using a layer of gravel under the sand as a sturdy foundation and to help with drainage.
• measuring the depth of the base to ensure a proper slope. 

I know what needs to be done.  I have done the research, y’all!  Research that GR calls “scare tactics.”  Whatever.  Lord help me.  I need hot-buttered bread in large amounts.

So, as they say, debate is the death of conversation.  And my conversation with GR about this patio?  Is over.  And the debating has cut into my viewing of Dancing With the Stars.  So, I will no longer butt in.  Because Maksim Chmerkovskiy is my life right now, people, and I must focus.

But let it be known that I actually do have some faith in GR, and I’m sure that he will find a way to make this work.  Hopefully in a way that does not entail drowning the dogs.  So, I will document his journey with this patio project—whatever the outcome may be.  And I’ll start with the following photos.

Here’s the pavers being delivered into our backyard…

Here’s GR looking all proud that he’s starting on this debatable project…

And here is a potential outline of the patio…

Stay tuned for The Great Patio Debate–Part Deux.

So, speaking of men and crazy, GR has made the proclamation that he’s bored.  In life.  Well, it doesn’t help that he’s often scared to leave the boundaries of the greater county area in which we live.  Because there’s a world of people and technology out there that he just doesn’t understand.  People and technology!  It is a frightening world…and GR is intimidated and jaded.

Anyhow, when GR gets bored, he starts poking around the house for things to change, which could be a good thing for me (new kitchen counter-tops?) or just plain crazy (where did he obtain the pink and black Chinese art prints hanging in the spare bedroom, and really, why?). 

His present gripe is the linoleum floor in our kitchen.  And I must agree, as you can see from the photos that follow, that our linoleum has seen better days.  Never mind that it’s only five years old.  We’ve had two puppies, scores of teenagers, and a mean ol’ refrigerator ravaging its existence.  So, it’s time for the linoleum to exit and for hardwood to enter (a good thing for me!).

See the rip here?  Bad refrigerator!

 And see the ravaged floor, here?  Bad puppies and teenagers!

So, we call for quotes.  Stick with me people, because these are the events that unfold. 

• We get said quotes. 
• We talk about said quotes. 
• We toil over said quotes.
• We throw said quotes away. 
• We decide to go to Aruba instead.
• We talk more. 
• We argue. 
• GR is intimidated. 
• We scavenge said quotes (now covered in creamed corn) from a two-day old bag of trash.
• We talk more.
• GR is jaded.
• We call back Mr. Hardwood, (true name of this guy’s company, and really?  Mr. Hardwood?  I’ll refrain from any juvenile jokes) who happens to be highly recommended.
• We negotiate a new and better price (based on GR doing some prep work).
• People…we are getting hardwood!!   

Now, I must say, this is probably not the end of this saga.  The hardwood is due to be delivered to our house on the 28th of this month and installed on March 6th. Between now and the 28th, GR might proclaim boredom yet again, ditch the entire hardwood idea, and remodel the basement bathroom or some such craziness. Because that’s just the way GR is…wishy-washy and jaded.  And that is why I eat hot-buttered bread.  Even though somewhere in my past I vowed not to.